Of love lost

The scope of simplicity

In the world of today, love has been boiled down to a series of transactions. It is used much in the same way as any other commodity like money. Some give love to receive something, while others give things to receive love. Basically, what love truly is in the Biblical sense is lost upon this generation.

But that is not to say that love no longer exists, because it does. You see true acts of love between friends, family and a myriad of other gestures and actions. Granted, it is not romantic love but it is love all the same.

I, for one, have loved.

I woke up today to a reminder set on my phone exactly a year ago.

“Anniversary for my love and I”

I smiled ear to ear before remembering that we had broken up a few months earlier which made my heart sink. To be completely…

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Write your story of belonging. Write your story of life and hardship. Write your story of Faith and change. Write your happy ending For Africa.

photo courtesy of Mike LaVere
photo courtesy of Mike LaVere

If I could write a story, I’d probably write one of bravery and love, where a village warrior saved his beautiful betrothed using wit and strength against the mighty ogre in the deep vast forest. If I could write a story, I’d write one of honour, where a young man went off to fight in the war and came back home wounded and disabled only more eager to serve his community. If I could write a story, I’d write one of humility and hard work, where a poor man lost his possessions to a rich greedy man only to get all of it and more back. If I could write a story, I’d write one of wisdom, where an old man saved an entire kingdom by solving only three riddles against the threat of an old powerful witch. If I could write a story. I could write a story. Or perhaps the story has already began. The thing is, I do want to write a story. A story of belonging. A story of life and hardship. A story of Faith and change . A story with a happy ending. As you can tell, I absolutely adore my endings blissful. This story will have only a happy ending. I believe it will. You should believe it too.

Mine is to tell a story of a story being told. The story being told is by a mind I deeply admire and a heart brave and true to divine purpose. The story teller in my story is a dear friend of mine and a firm believer of change. He wants to change the world in a way only God would guide him to. So yes, it seems that my story is about a warrior after all. There is a beautiful woman in this story but I’m afraid she is only metaphorical and not his beautiful betrothed. Despite her lacking human qualities, he is betrothed to her productivity and her prosperity all the same. Her name? Africa. Africa is need of saving from big ugly ogres that want to eat her whole. Ignorance. Poverty. Disease. Corruption. Greed. Tyranny. East and west. North and south. These big ogres plunder her with a great effort to leave her void of life. They take and tear down creating only hardships and struggle. The warrior in my story only wants to save the damsel in distress and his tactic is that of story telling. Just as I am now. His is not for you to write a song of his bravery and strength. No. His is for you to be brave with him and tell a story. Your story. Your story of belonging. Your story of life and hardship. Your story of Faith and change. He believes that if you simply share a story, a story perhaps of adversity and change, then together we can all save her. We can all save the beautiful Africa.

The task at hand has been made even more easier by the provision of a platform to tell and share our stories. Our warrior has armed us with a mighty hammer that will enable us to fight for our beautiful Africa. We can all gather around the fireplace and tell stories of how we overcame the ogres in the deep vast forests; of how we were wounded in battle only to make us yearn more for service; of how we believe that we can succeed and make our beautiful land prosper. Valia Solutions is that very fireplace. Where we can discuss our different life stories and perhaps by sharing, we will understand these problems and find the solutions within our own stories. It is, as the warrior put it, ‘Solutions For Africa, By Africa.’

The unique principle about this story telling is that it is yours. It is not moulded or fitted to perfect any conditions. It is your journey. Your reason. Your purpose. Your happiness. Therefore, you as a child of Africa, contribute to the productivity and prosperity of Africa.Valia Solutions only offers the platform for stories to be shared and with that, I believe that we move one step forward to saving our beautiful Africa. A Gambian proverb states that If your only tool is a hammer, you will see every problem as a nail.. If we as Africans take on positivity and have Faith in our efforts while working together, we will be able to hammer down our problems and find solutions that will provide productivity and prosperity to Africa as a whole.

Share your story on Valia Solutions. . Be part of the solution, as a child of Africa, For Africa. Write your story of belonging. Write your story of life and hardship. Write your story of Faith and change. Write your happy ending For Africa.


I am struggling. I am learning. I am growing. I am becoming. I am being.

I’ve been on such a heavy downward spiral for such a long time. I don’t know if I can really call it a spiral because it has been stagnant. I’m slowly learning to be. You know? When you just understand that you are flawed and perhaps broken. Worse still, lost. Trying to find yourself when you don’t even comprehend who that is. So where does one start really? Do you retrace your steps to childhood? When you were the playful and charismatic boy or the shy and compassionate girl? Is that not just childhood innocence? I know that not every child is charismatic or shy or playful or adventurous or bold. We all had our strong character traits. Something our loving mothers and protective fathers could describe us by. I was quiet. I loved to read. Loved to be indoors reading something. I played like every child does but my essence was not that of the outdoors. That of loving it so much that I had to always find something to do in it. No. I was more withdrawn. Like an adult in a child’s body. Or so it felt. Then that slowly changed. I became bold and head strong and passionate. About music. About words. About friendship. About my dreams. But so does everyone else. We all become passionate. We all really love or hate something or someone. Meaning we are all or can be passionate. If that is the case, can I really have passionate as a word that describes me?  I’m not even going to get trying to define myself or whatever. But maybe I should. What do I really have to lose? Exactly. Nothing. That’s just it. Nothing. Sad but true. What I’m trying to get over is that isn’t there supposed to be something worth losing? Doesn’t that make it worth it? Doesn’t that make it have a value that exists without anyone giving it value? Like an eminent quality of worth to that which you can lose?

Either way I’ve been in that mental and emotional sink-hole of defining myself for over a year now. I have found and lost and found myself again. The thing is I know so many young adults go through this especially in their early twenties. When what your parents and society have instilled in you is not necessarily your new-found understanding of things. When you are trying to find your own headspace in a world that is constantly changing. Furthermore, you come across different kinds of people. Most of who leave you having less hope in the world and in people in general. I’m over here saying “story of my life” to myself. I regret wallowing in that story though. I’ve been angry and caught up in it for so long and the worst thing about being in that negative zone is even after I realised I was drowning myself in self-pity, I would hate and guilt myself for not being stronger. For not being resilient enough to bounce back. So I’d go back down and lay there in the mud. In the dark. In a corner. With no hope. To the point that I shamefully found God, lost Him and found Him again. It was just a cycle. A cycle that most people go through due to personal frustrations and fears. I had given fear and frustration so much power that even the good things in my life were not good enough. Such that I was left questioning God and His intentions for me in my little murky dark corner.

To be honest, I’m still learning to be. To just take time with myself. With my life. With my relations. With my relationship. I am learning that I made horrible choices in the past. In friendships. In love. In my own endeavours. And it’s just okay. I should have done or been better but I cannot undo my past. I am learning that it’s okay not to know everything about me and who I was before beating myself down. I just need to know who I want to be and work towards that. I am learning to take time in my choices. I am learning to have hope in the world again. I am learning to pray more and have faith in God. To trust that His intentions for me cannot be failure and heartache. I am learning that life is not ugly and filled with struggle. It is as simple and as productive as you choose to make it.I am learning that love exists through my relationship. Not everyone in the world is out to get at you or hurt you. This is in context to the sexes. Women constantly guard themselves from most men because of what they have had to endure when in reality not all men are the same but that’s definitely for another day; and with that I can say I am learning that not all men are the same. I am finally accepting whatever little I know about myself. I am accepting how perfectly stubborn and selfish I can be. I am accepting that I am too emotional. I feel. I feel a lot; so much so that there’s always something very wrong or something very right. Such that I end up seeming utterly dysfunctional. For me it’s just Black or white but I also understand that life requires a balance or a point to which you don’t really have to care about some things so much. I am accepting to just be whoever I am. To be whatever it is that I am. To be flawed. To be lost sometimes. To be emotional. To be a child. To be a young adult. Then to be caught up in the middle all over again. To be weak but strong. To be okay but not really. I am learning to just be.

I am struggling. I am learning. I am growing. I am becoming. I am being.